Beyond Infertility

May 23, 2010

You Just Don’t Know

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondinfertility @ 6:21 pm

You just don’t know how you will react to a situation such as ours until you are in it.  We have some forward thinking family members who believe in all kinds of things.  They believe in the ability to heal others.  While this is readily acceptible in some cultures, and by some people, my husband and I are not amongst those that believe.  So, when you are face to face with the forward thinkers, who proclaim your child healed, you just never know how you will react.  I nodded and continued cleaning up after dinner.  My husband, whom I was not with when he was told, had a much more violent (as in emotionally) reaction.  His entire mood darkened, the storm clouds swirled behind his eyes, and it was clear he was shutting down.  So, I determined that he needed a system reboot, and I sent him on an errand that really didn’t need to be run. 

This is my second enounter with somebody who thought that our child could be healed outside of the medical realm.  If only those who said these things realized just how much it hurt.  My child is no more healed today due to their proclamations.  The the well meaning neighbor who shook my child’s legs and started shouting that the devile needed to leave them, thanks for scaring the shit out of my child.  The devil is not in my child, thank you very much.

So, while people mean well, this has been a VERY challenging week for us.  How do we respond to these kinds of things politely?



  1. Holy crap…that’s nutty. I just can’t imagine what I’d do in that situation. Well done for getting the husband out of the house. Who says stuff like that??

    Comment by LJ — May 23, 2010 @ 6:38 pm | Reply

  2. Sometimes, you just have to throw politeness out the window. Or shake people back when they touch your child.

    Comment by My Reality — May 23, 2010 @ 9:58 pm | Reply

  3. I don’t think it’s possible to respond to that politely. I don’t think you can politely deter that sort of behavior because it comes from a very strong belief system. I guess the best way to deal with it is to come up with some sort of whackadoodle concept of your own, and say that anyone else’s will counteract the effects.

    Comment by a — May 23, 2010 @ 11:14 pm | Reply

  4. It is one thing to pray for someone, but to touch a child in that fashion…

    I agree that politeness goes out the window.

    But like you said, no one knows how they will react in a situation until they are in it…I have no idea. I would either flip out on the person completely or hold it all in and then avoid that person in the future. The middle of that road is probably best – talking to the person that you aren’t comfortable with what they are doing?

    No idea…hope you don’t have to deal with it anymore though.

    Comment by Heather — May 24, 2010 @ 1:10 am | Reply

  5. I can’t really imagine right now what I’d do. The person who scared my child would get a swift reprimand – there’s no excuse for scaring young children (and other people have no right to be touching my child let alone scaring them). But as for what to say to people who offer unsolicited “medical” opinions — yikes.

    Comment by coffeegrl — May 24, 2010 @ 4:21 am | Reply

  6. I would have the leg shaker on their arse! How terrifying!!! I consider myself a Christian and all but have never bought into someone slapping you on the head and telling you your cured or any other means of shaking the devil out of someone. I feel like God would shield a three year old from the devil! So Sorry that you and B had to experience this, very scary!

    Comment by lifelemons — May 24, 2010 @ 11:34 am | Reply

  7. Oy. I would have been livid, just like Justin. Kudos to you for keeping your wits about you.

    Comment by sky — May 24, 2010 @ 12:02 pm | Reply

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