Beyond Infertility

March 5, 2010


Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondinfertility @ 11:44 am

As I’m sure anybody who is looking for answers would do, I have been scouring the internet.  I’ve let one search lead me through a virtual world of acronyms and words I can barely pronounce.  A thousand clicks later last night, in an attempt to settle after a class I went to, I found something that made my heart nearly stop.  This diagnosis fits so well it makes me ill.  While not every single symptom fits, many, many, many of them do.  So many of the things that I have on our list of concerns are in black and white on that page.

On a daily basis I tell Blue, “Watch where you are going!”  He seems unable.  He falls randomly, bumps into everything to include knocking down his poor sister, but it’s all very clear that 90% of the time it’s not on purpose.  So much else fits, but I’m not going to run down the list now.  I’m in no mood.  Just know that most of it applies to a scary degree.  The main differences involve touch and sensory stuff.  Blue loves to be held and touched, but needs continual reassured that we are there.  He flips out when he can’t find you immediately.  He isn’t troubled by loud noises at home, but things like fireworks or other loud noises scare him.

I  will be certain to ask the neurologist about this one.  I’m not sure how it couldn’t be this.  Too much fits.  I’m terrified of the implications for when he is older and goes to school.  However, I am confident that we are creative enough to help him overcome so many of these obstacles.  We’ll just learn to live and think outside the damn box!  I’m just so sad to think that he might not have friends.  Please oh please universe, please let my silly and amazingly fun child have friends.  This world is too harsh to survive without them.



  1. This is my biggest concern with Builder Boy (possible Aspberger’s diagnosis in addition to the ODD)…the friends issue. It breaks my heart to think of it, but I think back to students I have taught with issues and they go on to be well-adjusted adults with friends. I’m hoping and praying that it’s just an easy ride from now to then. I’m thinking of you!!!

    Comment by RenovationGirl — March 5, 2010 @ 4:22 pm | Reply

  2. Two of my sons were diagnosed, very young, with problems.

    One was even put on heavy duty drugs to combat a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Fast forward to college. This kid does NOT have bipolar disorder. Because many of his traits when he was younger, are also traits of people with BPD, he was medicated. This is a very long story that I won’t get into here, but I will just tell you that the diagnosis was bullshit and he does not have BPD, nor any of the other “he could have” conditions that the docs were throwing around. Just listen to your gut.

    The other son never crawled and missed other milestones. His kindergarten teacher was very argumentative with me when I casually mentioned that he never crawled. She said it meant that he was going to have developmental and neurological delays. This kid just made the Deans list at college.

    I guess my point is that while having a diagnosis is important, you also need to listen to your heart and if you don’t like what you are hearing, don’t be afraid to get second, third or fourth opinions.

    And most of all….spare yourself the torture of Dr. Google. It will drive you insane and have you microlooking for every little symptom. Being aware is great, being driven to the edge and not being able to step back and look at a big picture, isn’t.

    Either way, you are going to be fine. You may not know it, but you are prepared for whatever you need to do for your children.

    Comment by onlyhalfnuts — March 6, 2010 @ 1:09 am | Reply

  3. The idea of kids not having friends is heartbreaking. I am sure it won’t happen…you won’t let it.

    As for that as a diagnosis…keep in mind that any diagnosis and symptoms are only a guideline. There are milds and extremes and you never know where Blue will end up. I just hope you get a diagnosis soon so that you can focus on the what now instead of just the whats.

    Comment by Alex — March 6, 2010 @ 6:04 am | Reply

  4. The previous commenters have, by far, more wisdom than I. But I want you to know that I’m here.

    Comment by sky — March 6, 2010 @ 11:17 pm | Reply

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